Justin Hancock

I'm Justin Hancock, a sex and relationships educator, facilitator, trainer, writer. I also offer Solution Focused conversations (SFBT) for the general public.

SOLUTION FOCUSED CONVERSATIONS ABOUT SEX, LOVE, AND YOU

Join me and my monstera for a Solution Focused Conversation

I offer confidential one-to-one Solution Focused conversations to the general (adult) public. You can chat with me about any issues to do with sex, relationships, and just you / life generally. I'm happy to work one-to-one, or with couples or small groups."I described it to my pal as "magic". It honestly feels incredible that it worked after only session."WHAT WE CAN CHAT ABOUTI've worked with people specifically around sex and relationships and also with folk who want to be more confident, happier, unstuck, more proactive, more creative."His advice is practical and easy to implement and I find myself going back to it in stressful situations again and again."My approach is gentle, affirming, consensual but also matter of fact. I've been facilitating tricky conversations with warmth and resourcefulness since 1999. You can see this with my work at BISH and at the Culture Sex Relationships podcast."His gentle and encouraging approach to coaching creates space for you to get in touch with yourself. I felt completely comfortable being vulnerable, honest and authentic."WHAT IS 'SOLUTION FOCUSED?'The approach I use is Solution Focused (Solution Focused Brief Therapy - SFBT). I've been trained in SFBT by BRIEF. This is an incredibly effective, and brief, way of working. We'll firstly chat about your problem, to clarify your 'best hopes' from the session. Then when we've established what we're working on (your preferred future), I will ask you lots and lots of questions about what it will look like when you get there. I might then ask you to reflect on how far you've come already. It's a very straightforward and structured conversation."I feel that I have benefited so much from our session! I left it feeling so moved, and with much more confidence about listening to my own body and wants and leaning in to that."Because the focus of our conversation is on the resources you have, rather than the problems, it's very benign (it won't cause any harm). In fact, it's often really quite fun, generative, and transformative. We're both usually smiling at the end. You can see for yourself what some of my clients are saying about it on this page.FROM PROBLEM TO SOLUTIONAround 80% of people find that solution focused conversations improve their lives somewhat or significantly within a year. This from just 4 or 5 sessions, and maybe even just 1.There are theories about how it works (and it's rooted in materialist philosophy) but in Solution Focused practice, we don't care so much about why it works, we just know it does and try to make use of it.We use plain language and ask simple questions like:
What difference will that make?
How will you know?
What's better?
What else?"I was a bit skeptical tbh, but one session was able to shift my mindset completely."HOW IT WORKS
You book sessions when and IF you want them. In Solution Focused Practice we assume that just one session could be all someone needs. We treat every session like it's the last (and often the first and last). Once you’ve seen me you can choose whether to book another session or not by email – totally up to you.We'll work on Jitsi Meet but even phone calls can work too. I'll send a link just before the agreed session starts. If you want to do an in person session (in London) we can do that too. Everything you talk about will be kept confidential (unless there's a safeguarding issue of course).FEES
Bear in mind that often clients just need one session, so my fees reflect that. Also a lot of my clients are struggling and not well-off, so I have a sliding scale of fees. If you can afford to pay it forward please do.My suggested fees are:
£150 per session if you earn over £75k a year.
£100 if you earn £50k - £75k a year.
£50 if you earn £25k - £50k.
£25 if you earn £15k - £25k.
£15 if you earn under £15k.Or make it what you earn in an hour (pro-rata - min £15).If you're really really hard-up, ping me a message and I'll try and see you for less than this.If you're a couple, your fee will be based on your joint earnings (I'll just send one invoice).I'll send an invoice after the session.HOW TO BOOK
Contact me below, or email me directly bishtraining at gmail dot comIn your email tell me:
- when you're free: give me 3 dates and times when you're free. I'm in the UK. The very best times for me are Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday up to 7pm
- a line or two about what you want from the session (if you like)
- what I should charge you.Find out more about Solution Focused practice here

FACILITATION FOR WORKPLACES

Join me and my monstera for a Solution Focused Conversation

I’ve been facilitating discussions around sex and relationships with hundreds of people of all ages since 1999. In this line of work, we can’t pass on what we don’t have ourselves. This means creating safe enough, comfortable, and trusting spaces. This frees participants to be able to talk about their experiences, and build the learning with each other. As you might imagine, these sensitive subjects requires sensitive and expert facilitation.Fantastic, knowledgeable, respectful, kind facilitator.MAKING THINGS EASIERIn my training, we were taught that the word ‘facilitation’ came from the stem ‘facile / facilis’, which means ‘to make something easy’. This is what I am an expert in, making difficult conversations easier. The key is consent: building a group buy-in from the get go, with agreements, arrangements, and a clear understanding of where we are trying to get to. Sensitive facilitation also means on-going check-ins and spaces to catch our breath.He does not ask to participate, he creates the environment for people to participate. I could not ask for better.I know how to make working together both fun and meaningful. In good facilitation, participation isn’t tokenistic (no ice-breakers or role playing from me) but instead has a clarity of purpose. That our contributions and our responses to those contributions spiral upwards, leading us towards the important, the novel, and the valuable.I am now offering these skills and my experience for the workplace. If I can make it easier for groups of people to be comfortable talking to each other about these sensitive topics, I can probably help to make your workplace conversations a little bit easier too.WORKSHOPS FOR TEAM BUILDING AND AWAY DAYSOf course, many of the topics which I have a great deal of experience in facilitating are relevant to the workplace too. I have ‘off the shelf’ courses that could work outside of the context of sex and relationships education. For example, relationships and consent.All workplaces thrive when the relationships between colleagues are built on trust, comradeship, support, autonomy, and celebration. How we do this isn’t luck, or just ‘vibes-based’, it’s the result of daily, micro, productive interactions. It’s all in learning how to notice it, make the implicit explicit, and building on what we have to produce memorable working relationships that achieve great things.The session had a great sense of participation, and everyone was eager to share their thoughts. Justin was very patient, giving us ample time to speak while keeping the discussion well on track.Similarly, people’s needs and desires have to be met in order for their skills and experience to be able to flourish. Figuring out how to do this with groups can be difficult, but is also the key to unlocking real productivity. It’s all about consent, not as a ‘giving permission’ or a ‘can I do this’, but instead focussing on what it is that we can all do in order to increase our collective capacity to act.Nice way of modelling consent in how the teaching was delivered – demonstrating theory in real time.FROM PROBLEMS TO SOLUTIONSIn addition to my experience of facilitating workshops, I can also just facilitate conversations. I use a Solution Focused approach, which are not just jargony buzzwords but actually comes from an approach called Solution Focused Brief Therapy. This is a radical approach to therapy, developed in the 1980s by Insoo Kim-Berg and Steve de Shazer. As the name suggests, SF is more interested in solutions than problems.The problem with ‘problems’ is that we can get so bogged down and depressed from thinking about the problem that we have less and less capacity to do anything about it! Solution Focused approaches mean that we don’t have to fully understand a problem before we can work on a solution. This immediately frees us up to start thinking about where we want to go, how it will look like when we get there, and how far we have got already.These, quite structured, conversations have proven to be incredibly effective in one-to-one work and even more effective in group work. I’ve been working within this modality for around 5 years now, doing one-to-one and small group work. Helping people to feel unstuck, more confident, and to develop new creative approaches to their work.You can read more about this approach at my coaching page (which is also available for workplaces) but the questions for one-to-ones and groups are broadly the same.- What are your best hopes from our working together?
- If your best hopes come true overnight, how will you know?
- What difference will that make?
- What will you notice?
- What else?
- How far have you got already?
- If you to progress even a little further towards your best hopes, what will you notice?This space was clearly created with room for curiosity, new ideas, and constructive idea-making.FEES AND MORE INFORMATIONAs with my SRE facilitation and training I offer a sliding scale fee, starting at around £1200 per day. I can also offer solidarity rates if you are an organisation doing socially valuable work, but are lacking in funds.If you would like to book a call with me to discuss your needs and to see if I can help, send me a message below and suggest three dates and times and I’ll respond in turn. Alternatively email me bishtraining at gmail dot comI will look forward to hearing from you!Justin